how often do you think about those people you swore you'd never forget?

It's interesting what we manage to hold onto throughout the years. I have lost many precious things along the way and yet I still have my TASC completion certificate from 1987. Great. TASC was a program for troubled kids - I actually ended up there several times before ultimately landing in a girls home. Anyway, I found that certificate in a manila envelope that had shapes and some names scribbled on the front. I began to remember the excercise from TASC that day. We were asked to draw a square with a circle inside:

tasc

We were to then write the names of people in our life according to our relationship with them. For example, inside the circle are the people with whom we would trust our lives. Outside the circle and inside the square were the people that we kind of trusted. The outside was reserved for those whom we didn't trust at all.

Now twenty years later, I come across this diagram representing the people closest to me at that time. I realize that within the circle, there is only one person that I am still in contact with. Within the square there are two that I still talk to and most of the others? I don't even remember who they are! My parents are the only people on the outside that are still in my life and they have since moved into the circle. Wow. If only I knew then what I know now ..... I still manage to trust the wrong people and discredit the right ones. I still want to be loved by those that never will instead of appreciating those that always have. I guess in some ways, I'm still that fucked up kid trying to make sense of it all. Just looking for someone to believe in.

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